Immortals Loving Mortals
by Ace-Of-Spades-2014
Summary: Magnus ponders what it means to be immortal in love with a mortal. (Talks about Magnus' past with Imasu, which was described in The Bane Chronicles)


There were moments in Magnus' life in which time had been like rain to Magnus, glittering at it fell, changing the world, but something that could also be taken for granted. Being immortal could be glorious, living life to the fullest because time was on his side. That sentiment did not last when he fell in love with a mortal, as Alec was. Like so many before him had been.

Magnus remembered a young beautiful man by the name of Imasu Morales, a man he had been so enamoured with that he devoted his time to learn the charanguista. Then, when he was told by that very man in very elaborate words that he was a terrible musician, promptly threw the expensive instrument out the window with a grin.

It was with Imasu that Magnus truly began to internalize the fact that when in love with a mortal, time was more like gold in a miser's hands. Every bright year was counted out carefully, infinitely precious, yet each one of those gold coins would slip through his fingers.

So Magnus made it a habit to cultivate the perfect mask, for if his mortal was going to slip away, then he was going to cherish every moment that he was blessed with. He would enjoy the companionship, the smiles, the laughter, the kisses and every intimate touch. He would not tarnish their short time together with fights, arguments, or any other sort of negative energy that ruined so many other relationships.

Seasons passed with Imasu as his significant other, and Magnus became more confident and steady in his love for the mortal who laughed prettily at the warlock's folly, who had a gorgeous that was fascinating and easy to read, and who shared his open heart and all the stories that made him who he was. It was at that point that Magnus went to his mortal love and suggested they move in together, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep every night and wake up to this beautiful being every morning. Magnus had been so sure that it was time to settle. Had been so assured that they were perfect for one another - at least until time tore them apart.

The memory made him shake his head in despair and regret. He had asked in a soft manner, demur, and brimming with anticipation, positive that Imasu would say yes. They had practically bene living together anyways.

Just as Alec had done the day before as he suggested the exact same thing. Magnus hated himself to see the humble confidence that the shadowhunter turn to uncertainty, and then to absolute dejection. It reminded him too much of how he had felt when Imasu had turned him down all those years ago.

To give Alec credit, the young mortal man had handled the situation much better than Magnus had upon being told that living together wouldn't be the best choice, that in fact, he and Imasu weren't destined for one another after all. When Magnus had been rejected he had opted for a nonchalant air, right before he crumbled to a mess, and then demanded to know why, despite all the fun they had been having, Imasu wanted to end it.

Yet, it was Imasu's rejection itself that kept Magnus from repsonsing to Alec in the manner he desired.

"It is the way you are. I cannot be with you any longer because I do not want to be. You are just...You seem always...ephemeral, like a glittering shallow stream that passes the whole world by. Not something that will stay, not something that will last. Not someone permanent."

The heartache had led to months of drunken nights with Catalina and Ragnor trying so hard to pick up the pieces. It didn't matter that Imasu wasn't his first love, certainly wasn't his first heartbreak - only that Magnus had had enough of that pain.

It was the fear of that pain, of the inevitable rejection, that kept Magnus in his seat as Alec stood from the breakfast table with a stillness about him and walked out.

Because even after all these years and all the relationships that had ended, Magnus still struggled to find a balance between enjoying the moment and taking the future into consideration. With mortals, he obviously leant towards concentrating on the moment, not willing to waste a second on what may be. That moment always passed though, and Magnus was always left alone to mend his own broken heart. Either the person realized that eccentric warlock was too much to handle, or simply found him too difficult to live with. On rare occasion - on the horrible occasion -, they left unwillingly.

Whatever way it may end with Alec, Magnus knew he couldn't stomach it. Rejection or death, Magnus couldn't accept a day without having the shadowhunter by his side. Just look at how he had acted during their breakup? To go through that again on a larger scale would break him.

The day went by in a depressing haze, seeing client after client, and then running an errand to get supplies. Throughout it all, there were no texts or calls from his boyfriend, but Magnus supposed he should have expected that. He hadn't exactly given Alec a reason to believe he'd be in mood for further discussion. All the same, the silence was traumatizing.

It was late evening when someone knocked, forcing him out of his pinning. Frustrated, he went to the door. He was surprised to see an unfamiliar shadowhunter standing in the hall with his feet planted like a perfect soldier.

"Isn't it a little late for the institute to be seeking assistance? And should you be looking for the Head Warlock?" He snapped.

"It's not for the institute Mr. Bane. It's…" the man motioned to the floor beside the door and magnus was caught by surprise to see Alec sitting with his back against the wall, eyes closed and face flushed. "He had too much to drink at the Hunter's Moon. Said something about not wanting his family to see him like this, and I figured that extended to the Institute."

Magnus smiled kindly at the sympathetic shadowhunter (Underhill, he assumed. Alec had mentioned a friendly soldier recently). "Thank you. I'm sure he'd appreciate that."

"Of course Mr. Bane. Take care."

As he left, Magnus bent down to retrieve his boyfriend from the ground. "Come on," he cooed, "let's get you inside."

"'M s'rry," the man was mumbling as he was lifted to his feet.

"It's okay," Magnus spoke softly, quietly closing the door once Alec was safely inside. "We're going to be okay."

"Are we?" Alec's drunken words were miserable, and Magnus' heart broke at the sound. " 'Cause it...it didn't seem like that earlier."

By then Magnus had helped Alec to the couch, his fingers threading gently through soft hair. "We'll work it out."

"Promise?"

The warlock sighed. The shadowhunter appeared so young: vulnerable and so very mortal. It made him want to weep at the thought of what would happen to them. Of the pain that Alec would cause Magnus further down the road, just like all those before him. Or worse, the pain Magnus would cause Alec.

"I promise," he whispered, leaning in to kiss Alec's heated forehead. "I will do everything in my power to make sure that we'll be okay."

"Me too. I promise," Alec tried to nuzzle closer. "Love you Mags."

"I love you too Alexander."


End file.
